Blog for Jake

I have this brother-in-law who fancies himself as an old school Texan. He does the bit with the horsies and the drawl. But when push comes to shove, Tex is just as big a cybergeek as Mark Cuban. I say this because he has been on me non-stop to update this blog. What's the deal... you guys aren't satisfied reading the ass soup story over and over again?

So here's a new post. I am going to Germany with my sisters in less than a month. My sister heard this story on NPR that people who received measles vaccines betweeen the McCarthy Era and man landing on the moon need to get new vaccines. And these people traveling to post-World Cup Germany should be doubly-sure to get vaccinated since Germany will be be hosting the World Cup of Communicable Diseases once all the people leave.

My sister, being the oldest and therefore the most protective, assertive, and thorough, promptly e-mailed our family doctor in Texas and asked if we should get re-vaccinated. The doctor said we all should, including me, born in 1971 AFTER the guy with the strong arms kneeled on the moon. So be it. So upon receiving this news, I wrote an e-mail explaining why I didn't have to go get re-vaccinated. Jake wrote back in a terse e-mail saying that the story belongs on my] blog....

Here you go Jake. You thought the ass soup story was stale the second time around; is reading this re-run any fresher?

Editor's Note: Names changed to protect the innocent, and some lines changed to make thisstory more entertaining.

Thanks to Joe and Harry Yomamma, I think I'm in the clear. Joe never missed a day of school from third grade on. He bragged about this from time to time, as Harry was growing up.

So Harry hadn't missed a day of school since second grade and was out to break Joe's family record. My sophomore or junior year Harry was feeling sick but had to keep the streak alive, so he kept coming to school.

Turns out he was coming to school with the measles for half a week, until he was quarantined to his bedroom.

The result? Joe's lame streak stays alive. He wins I guess. Oh yeah, and the rest of the Alamo Heights student body loses. Measles vaccines for the whole school!! I have no idea if the school district's taxpayers tried to get the Yomamma family to foot the bill for all those vaccines.

Harry Yomamma will now forever go down in my high school memories as one of the all-time jackasses for the measles epidemic he started.

But I guess I should thank him, as I know I have 1988 measles vaccine flowing through my bloodstream and none of that nasty 1960s shit you got stuck with.